Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites

A lot of people are afraid of computers. They don’t want to use them, or interact with them, or even be in the same room with them. They’ll cross the street if one approaches them on the sidewalk. They may even be uneasy around technology in general. Some of people with that fear of the digital world can probably remember a time when the flashing 12:00 on the VCR taunted them, like a phantasmal beacon in the night daring them to press buttons.

It knows things!

In talking with some people that have admitted to being wary of computers, I’ve found the answer to the question “What are you afraid of?” has most often been “That I’ll break something.”

“I’ll mess something up.”

“I’ll click the wrong thing and it won’t go.”

Well… yeah. You’re probably going to do that. Chances are, if you get in there and play with the software on a computer, at some point you’re more than likely going to break it. Suddenly it won’t boot. Windows won’t load. Office is gone. Your default browser has been set to (gasp!) Internet Explorer. There’s a litany of things that could and probably will go wrong.

So?

How else are you going to figure out how to do stuff? Personally, I’m a kinetic learner. At a very young age I learned how our VCR worked… by completely dismantling it. I got in a little trouble, but thankfully it was hard for my parents to get mad at my curiosity. Along those same lines, if you play around with your computer and you do manage to break something, what’s the worst thing that could happen? The entire tech department will not -- contrary to popular opinion -- burst into your classroom astride our fiery warhorses, donning tattered ebon robes and demanding your very soul.

It would look like this if we did, though. That would be cool.

The first thing we'll do is fix it, which automatically puts you ahead of my parents because they had to buy a new VCR. There's nothing you can do that we can't fix. I've said that time and time again, and it's still as true as it's ever been. The worst thing that can happen is that we'll have to re-image your computer. Since you save all your documents to your h: drive (RIGHT?) then you've not really lost anything at all, have you? Once we figure out what happened, we can talk about why it happened and hopefully help you get whatever result you were going for. Remember... we're here to help you teach those kids. Don't be afraid to ask for our help in getting that done, and don't be afraid to strike out on your own to see what you can do. It'll all be okay, I promise.

Model varies by location.

"There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them." - André Gide

Erik Hammonds is a computer tech for the Tuscaloosa City Schools.

Malware: What It Is and Why You Have It

A computer is just a box of circuits, transistors, resistors and other electrical engineering words. Left to its own devices, you can’t really do anything with it. You need software, right? Of course you do! Luckily, the internet is full of software, and a lot of it says it’s free in big red letters! Isn't that great?!

No. That is not great.

Here’s the thing… most of the time, that “free” software is going to be a timed trial. You can use it a certain number of days or hours, and then it wants you to purchase the full version.  Even worse, most of those programs are bundled with installers that will add several different programs to your computer that you didn't ask for. Those programs are often harmful to your computer, and are what we call “malware”.

Malware is actually a portmanteau… it’s short for “malicious software”. The actual definition of malware is “software that is intended to damage or disable computers and computer systems”. Those programs that you may have seen pop up wanting your credit card number to fix several thousand errors in your registry? Random things opening when you try to start up your favorite Internet browser that should never, ever be Internet Explorer? Yep, that’s malware.

Getting rid of malware isn't always easy (though sometimes it totally is; it depends on what’s on the computer and what you're willing to lose). The easiest thing to do is to just not get it in the first place! With this stuff sneaking its way onto your computer when you're trying to download innocent-looking software from reputable sites (even CNET is guilty of distributing the stuff now) how can you avoid it? How do you know if that file you want to download is safe or not?

ASK US FIRST.

That’s the best piece of advice I can give you. Put in a work order and let us know that you’re interested in a program, and where you found it online. We can download it and try it out first to make sure it’s safe. If it’s not, we'll let you know and might be able to suggest a similar, safer program that will do what you need to get done.